


A Lesson Of Mythological Creatures by John Mitchell

by TheNightwingBegins



Series: We Need More Britchell Arc [3]
Category: Being Human (UK), The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Fairies, M/M, Succubus, a bit of made up mythology, and Faun, by yours truly, oh my
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 09:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/885438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNightwingBegins/pseuds/TheNightwingBegins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“MIKE, no. no, no, no, nooooooo, I don’t wanna have sex with one, I’m just, curious is all.” Mikes expression changed to concerned to unimpressed.</p><p>“Curious. Right. You know, Olaf was curious once, and then he woke up one day and he found he had a tattoo on his-”</p><p>Learning about mythological is interesting stuff, especially when the Johnsons are learning about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lesson Of Mythological Creatures by John Mitchell

**Author's Note:**

> Well, Its been a while since I've written a story, so. Yeah.
> 
> I own none of the characters, I just write the stuff.

“… And a while ago Mitchell telling me about these, these lust creatures-“

“Axl, what the fuck do you know about lust? You’re probably still a virgin.” Axl glared at the Anders, who ignored his brother and took a gulp of alcohol. Axl gestured wildly to the sweet talker, looking at the vampire. Mitchell, to the left of Blond, smiled at the Odin-God and shrugged, as to say, ‘Sorry can’t help you.’ 

Anders, Mitchell, Axl, and Zeb had met up at Mikes bar and were sitting at the counter. Ty had politely said no and had decided to go on a date with Dawn. And Olaf… No one really knew where he was.

“He’s probably lying in some ditch, who knows,” Said Mike, bustling around the counter. “But what were you saying, Axl?”

“He was talking about subs!” Piped up Zeb. Mike looked at Axl quizzically.

“Like the sandwich? Axl, I don’t think Subs are things of lust, unless you have a kink,” Anders grinned lewdly at Axl. “Dear brother, is there something you’re not telling us? ~” The younger gods’ cheeks went scarlet. 

“What?! No! That’s disgusting, Anders…” Muttered Axl, but then more loudly “I was talking about, about those-” The gods brows furrowed, thinking hard. 

“Succubus?” Mitchell asked. Axl expression brightened.

“Yeah, that’s what they’re called!” Mike looked at his brother, concerned.

“And why were you asking about succubus? Look, I don’t know how desperate you are for a lay but-” Axl choked on his drink, looked at Mike (so quickly it looked like it almost like gave him whiplash), mortified.

“MIKE, no. no, no, no, nooooooo, I don’t wanna have sex with one, I’m just, curious is all.” Mikes expression changed to concerned to unimpressed.

“Curious. Right. You know, Olaf was curious once, and then he woke up one day and he found he had a tattoo on his-”

“Heyyyyy, Mike, be a big bro and give a me another drink for Mitchell.” Mike glared at Anders.

“Are you going to pay for it?” Anders shrugged.

“Eh, probably not.” Mike rolled his eyes, taking the brunets empty glass.

“Don’t worry; I’ll pay for my own drink.” Anders mock swooned, draping his body on the curly haired vampire.

“Oh, my sweet, sweet Edward Cullen, paying for his own. That makes me shiver in ecstasy!” 

Mitchell laughed, shoving Anders off himself and grabbed his refilled drink from Mikes’ hands.

“Shut up, you ass.” The sweet talker smiled, smug.

“But I'm YOUR ass.”

“Damn straight.” Zeb wrinkled his nose.

“Ugh, enough couple stuff,” The self-acclaimed Freki quickly brightened. “Hey Mitchell, tell us more about those sub sandwiches.”

“Succubus, Zeb.”

“Yeah, those!” Mitchell shifted on his barstool, thinking.

“Alright. I’ll you a bit about them. But only if you pay for my drink.”

“Okay!” 

‘ Oh, my little manipulator.’ Anders happily thought. The group quickly put their attention on Mitchell.

“Well, a succubus is the female demon, I think the male counterpart is called an incubus, they’re usually very attractive, unbelievably attractive. But you can usually tell if someone is either. They have a thing of forgetting about hiding their tails and claws. I think they can’t stand iron. Um, I heard they like flocking to France, you know, city of romance and so on. I met one once.” 

“What was she like?” Mike asked, interested.

“A bit slutty, to be honest. Kept asking about sex for an hour straight, I ditched her in my hotel when I discovered she wasn’t a human prostitute. Anders don’t give me that look, it was 65 years ago!”

Anders pulled a bored face. “I’m tired of Sex demons, tell us about another monster.” 

“But...”

“Shut up Zeb or I’ll sue you and make you go to prison.”

“For what?!”

“Being annoying.”

“You…”

“Leave it be, Zeb.”

“But Axl…”

“He’s a dick. You know that.”

“…Fine.”

“How about Fauns?” Asked Mitchell. Mike frowned.

“Like the baby deer, fawn?” The vampire shook his head.

“No, more like half deer or goat, half human. Faun.” Axl raised his eyebrows.

“Never heard of them.”

“Then that’s what I’ll talk about.” Anders scratched his chin.

“They sound really gay.”

“Well, you didn’t have to meet one.”

Axl Looked confused. “Were they annoying?”

“Really annoying. They were drunken and stupid. Not really good company at all. 

“Kind of like Olaf, then.”

“But anyway, I heard some were very nice to look at, and that they were kinda going extinct. I think most of it having to do with deforestation and pollution. I also heard they made friends with the satyrs.”

“Satyrs?”

“Think of a Faun, just not annoying. Just a lot more smart and polite,” Mitchell frowned, looking at cup. “Let’s talk about something not so annoying.” Mike shifted from his spot.  
“What about fairies? Do they exist?” The vampire nodded.

“They do exist. There are different types though. Some are actually pretty helpful, like once I got lost in a forest in Canada-”

“What were you doing in a forest in Canada?” exclaimed Anders, puzzled.

“I… heard there was a way to make vampires mortal, but, that’s a long story that’s not really… needed to be shared.” The couple shared a long look. Mitchell shook his head and smiled sadly.

Zeb nodded. “We won’t ask. Now, what about those fairs?”

“Fairies, Zeb.”

“I knew that!”

“Anyway, some are helpful, some… really aren’t. Luckily I haven’t met any of those. Those types will usually steal babies and enter humans’ bodies and eat them from the inside out. Some actually do terrible things, like burn humans alive and make children fall down stairs, just for the enjoyment of pain. Kinda creepy.” Zeb shivered.

“No more! Now I feel paranoid…” Mitchell smiled.

“Don’t worry; they don’t like the seas, they like the United States, more terrible people that deserve it.” Zeb wiped his brow in relief.  
“That’s a relief…” Axl grinned, and looked at the clock, and became concerned. 

“Hey, Zeb, we better go, or we’ll be late for our Doctor Who marathon.” The self-acclaimed Freki swore and got off his bar seat, taking some money and put it on the counter. Mike scowled. 

“Hey, I just wiped the counter; I don’t need your filthy money making a mess.”

“Whatever, C’mon Axl, we’ll be late!”

“See you guys later.” And the two quickly left. Anders got up stretched.

“It is kinda late, Mitchell and I should go.” Mitchell nodded and got up too. Mike glared.

“Pay for your drinks first, asshole.” The vampire got his wallet out and put a wad of cash in Mikes’ hand.

“Here, keep the change.” The Gambling God smiled. The blond rolled his eyes.

“Enough. lets blow this popsicle stand.” Anders grabbed Mitchells’ hand and led him out of his brothers’ bar.

Mike shook his head. How Mitchell was still with Anders was a mystery to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Ehhhh, I could do better. Just FYI I have never watched the almighty Johnson, I've watched Being Human, but that's about it.


End file.
